


I Want To Believe

by Kyouryokusenshi



Series: Alethea [1]
Category: The X-Files, The X-Files: I Want To Believe (2008)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-The X-Files: I Want To Believe (2008), Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6491545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyouryokusenshi/pseuds/Kyouryokusenshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of the Alethea and Another Chance Series. Takes place after I Want To Believe. Scully is pregnant again and didn't tell Mulder until after solving the Father Joe case, because she was afraid he would choose his search for the truth over their little family. Terrified after nearly losing him a second time, she breaks the news to him. Mulder finds out her refusal to chase him into the darkness wasn't just because she wanted to live a normal life, but that she was pregnant all along. Scully continues to struggle with where their relationship stands and if she will always blame herself for giving up her first child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Scully lay awake in the bed she shared with Mulder as she often did, trying to entertain the idea of having another child. How would be able to protect another child if she couldn't protect William? It was true what Mulder said that things were different now. They were no longer in the FBI and no longer fugitives with something to run from. They could raise this baby…but the thought of not having William pained her more than anything. She wasn't sure if it was fair for her to have another baby and she did consider other options when she found out she was pregnant…but couldn't go through with them.

Although their lives had changed so much in 6 years, she was afraid she was going to be alone and pregnant again when Mulder had disappeared a few weeks ago. His last words to her were "like you said, it's why we can't be together". And only having just found out she was pregnant shortly before, those words stung. It was a like a knife was put through her heart. At that moment, she had a fleeting thought that termination would be the better route. She couldn't expect Mulder to give up his passion for the search for the truth, but because of that, this pregnancy wouldn't have been any different than the first and she didn't want to do it on her own or take a risk of giving up another child. She even went as far as booking the termination appointment.

She admitted that she went into panic mode when she couldn't reach Mulder, so just like before, there was only one other person she could turn to. Skinner. When she got that dreaded call that her car had been found in an accident, she feared the worst. And once again, Skinner was there to help her find Mulder, especially once she told him her secret like she had before. It was almost like some sort of de ja vu. Of course, Skinner tried to stop her from searching for her partner…but he knew her well enough that she wasn't having any of that. But she couldn't forget the anguish she felt of coming so close to losing Mulder again…she lost William, but she couldn't bear to have Mulder leave her again.

She had a hard time interpreting what Father Joe's words meant. "Don't give up." Did he know about the baby or about the issues she was having with Mulder or her struggle to save their relationship? Or was it just about Christian? She would never know, but maybe it was everything she was going through. All she knew was that she couldn't bear to hear those words or believe they were meant for her when she was considering the termination.

"Scully", she heard a whisper. "What's wrong?"

Scully fought back the sudden tears. She couldn't face him. "Mulder, I have been thinking…" she barely managed to squeak out. "What? Tell me what it is," he said soothingly as he tucked back a stray hair from her face.

She took a deep breath. "I sent you away, Mulder. When you were in danger because of us…because of William. I sent you away to protect you." He sighed as he waited for her to continue. "I can't help but believe that William would still be with us if I hadn't done that…if I hadn't…insisted."

"Scully," he started, making it clear this discussion wasn't up for debate.

"No, listen. Mulder, I was so afraid that I would lose you again, forever. I couldn't…." her voice broke. "I couldn't bear to lose you again, I sent you away to be safe…and because of that, I denied you a chance at fatherhood. I gave up our son…and every day, I hurt so much because of that…knowing it was an irreversible decision, but I can't accept that I will never see him again."

Despite the fact that it still DID bother Mulder that Scully had given William away, it was done and the choice was made. He had to accept it. They both did. They were given another chance to love the child Scully was carrying beneath her heart even though she had doubts about being a mother again. Their circumstances had changed in the last 6 years. They could protect this baby. He just had to convince her of that.

Mulder pulled Scully, who was now sobbing, closer to him. "It's going to be different this time, Scully. I promise. We've been given another chance. We can do this together. I'm never going to leave your sight again, okay?"

She managed a small laugh at his sincerity. Well, even though that part might not be 100% possible, she knew Mulder wasn't going anywhere. She had to believe things would be different this time, she had to believe she would be able to move on and that the emptiness William left in their hearts would make room for a chance for them to love and enjoy the child that came to be. She placed her hand on her belly and gently pressed on the child below her heart. She already felt an enormous amount of love for the life growing inside.

To be continued…

A/N: This is part of the Alethea and Another Chance series. Please do read those to understand what is going on in this little vignette.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me and yes, I do have plans for William, so please do stay tuned!

Several weeks had passed since Mulder and Scully had come to terms with the fact that they were having another baby. Now that they were settled and there didn't appear to be any imminent danger, Scully so desperately wanted a chance to be a family with Mulder, even if that meant they would have to accept that they might not see William again. She was getting ready for work; she placed her hand on the already expanded curve of her abdomen. She was five months pregnant now and she was definitely showing. Some of her colleagues noticed the undeniable bulge of her abdomen whenever she had her uniform unbuttoned, which was getting more difficult these days as her expanding belly was pushing against the fabric and forcing her to keep the top buttons of her pants undone. She finally had to break down and begrudgingly buy maternity pants over the past weekend.

However, today, she couldn't care less about those unpleasantries, because she and Mulder had decided they wanted to find out the sex of their baby. She smiled to herself as she thought of how enthusiastic Mulder had been at the changes in her body and experiencing parenthood together. It was something she so desperately yearned for in his absence when she was pregnant with William.

She couldn't stop smiling as she made her way to work and down the halls of the hospital. She hadn't felt so happy in such a long time, even if she was starting to feel like a beached whale. Similarly to when she started showing at the X-Files office, she caught glances amongst her colleagues and staff members as she made her way towards her office. Right before she left home, she decided to proudly wear a knit top just to show how pregnant she really was. Like, they say, if you can't beat 'em, may as well join 'em.

This time was different though, because there were no mocking giggles or attempts at hiding laughter because she was carrying Spooky's lovechild. Instead, she got a lot of "Congratulations Doctor Scully, I knew it" or "So you and your hubby finally decided to join the parenthood team" and so on. It just felt so frighteningly…normal. She was 43 and having a child, but she would finally have the life she always wanted and now it was complete with the white picket fence. She lovingly stroked her belly, not caring who saw. She was so thrilled to be having this baby that she couldn't even stand to the thought that she considered terminating the pregnancy at one point. This was going to be her last chance.

Mulder was finally getting out of the house and teaching at one of the local Universities about Psychology, though he did consider teaching new agents for the FBI. He knew he would always go down in history as Spooky Mulder, so that idea was out.

Scully realized she was still smiling as she entered her office and sat down opposite her coworker's desk, who smiled knowingly at her. "So when is your due date, Doctor?"

Scully laughed as she stroked her belly. "October fifth."

Cassandra Miles, her slightly younger colleague smiled. "Your first child, right? Well, I could totally tell for the last few weeks."

Scully felt a sudden pang and she knew it wasn't the fellow Doctor's fault for making general conversation, but she didn't want to lie. She took a breath and looked away. "No, um…actually, I have a son…I gave him up for adoption several years ago."

"Oh, I am sorry Dr. Scully…I didn't mean to…"

Scully tried to smile and looked back at her reassuringly. "No, um, it's okay. It was unexpected and we just couldn't…weren't able to care for him properly at the time." She had no idea why was telling the woman with whom she had become a friend to recently all of this, but it felt good to finally tell someone what she was going through.

"If you don't mind my asking, Dr. Scully, what was his name?"

Scully smiled a sad smile. "William, his name was William. He would have been six this past May."

She fumbled through her desk and held a picture to Dr. Miles. It was a picture she often stole a few precious minutes to look at from time to time at work. It was of the three of them the day before Mulder had left.

She smiled at the photo. "He looks just like you."

"I often wonder where he is and if he thinks about us," Scully found herself saying out loud. "I want so much for him to know that I loved him so much."

Cassandra smiled as she handed the photo back to Scully. "I'm sure he does, Dr. Scully."

"Dana," she corrected. "You can call me Dana."

"Ok, Dr…Dana."

Before she retreated back to her own desk, she stopped and turned around. "Dana…I don't often speak of this, but…I have had 2 miscarriages. We're still trying, but I'm almost afraid of hoping."

Scully managed a small smile. "Don't give up. I actually was told I wouldn't be able to have children many years ago. My first child was a miracle…don't even get me started on this one, but I know I've run out of chances and I want this baby so much."

Cassandra smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

Scully moved to get up from a chair when a piercing pain went through her abdomen and she gasped, clutching her baby.

"Dr. Scully? Are you okay?" the other woman panicked.

With a sudden sadness, Scully felt wetness between her legs. "Oh no…I'm think I am losing my baby!" she gasped. "No! Please, help me!"

The last thing she could remember is her college rushing over to her as she collapsed to the floor before everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

"Dana? Are you ready to come on back?"

Mulder had finally, but reluctantly agreed to help Scully have the child she wanted so much to have. She looked up at the doctor and smiled.

"Yeah."

The IVF hadn't worked, but the night that Mulder had took her while she drowned in her sorrows at her last chance to conceive, the chance that failed her…the irony that she conceived that miracle that same night.

She dragged herself into the doctor's office and did as she was told, stripped and lay on the examination table. She was praying so hard that the miracle she had conceived wasn't going to be taken from her.

Earlier that night, she had woken to wetness between her legs, terrified that she was losing the last piece of Mulder that she had left. In that moment, she had lost of faith. Angry that god would cause her so much grief, yet give her a miracle only to take it away.

She cried until the doctor entered the very white room and explained to her that her baby was in a lot of distress, that she might lose him or her if she didn't slow down and take it easy. While she was relieved that her baby was okay, being told her pregnancy was very high risk meant she had to choose between her baby and the search for Mulder. She didn't want to make that choice. All she wanted was for him to come home to her and their baby.

Hearing the word preeclampsia was like having her worst nightmare come true. She was easily susceptible to having an abruption, which could means she would lose her baby. Later on, that nightmare had eventually come true. She was stressed because Mulder wasn't the same; she thought she had lost him forever, that he wouldn't come around to be with her and their baby.

While he did come around and fell in love with his son at first sight, he had to leave them, when he just thought he had found his place. And despite all of that, she not only lost him, but she had made the painful decision to give up the baby she had gone through so much to have and to protect.

She cried every night for months until she was reunited with Mulder. She would never forget the signing of papers or the day they took him from her arms. When she had to say bye to his sweet face for the last time.

"Scully?"

"I promise I'm not going anywhere. I promise you won't lose your baby again. Please come back to me."

For a moment, all those horrible images left her head.

She felt her surroundings slowly drifted away. She jumped as she opened her eyes to a brightly lit room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Mulder immediately at her side.

"Mulder? Oh god, what happened to me? The baby, is the baby okay?"

She looked down to see a monitor strapped to her abdomen and various machines that she was attached to.

"I had this sharp pain…and I thought, I thought I was going to lose the baby."

Mulder took his hands over hers. "They called me and told me what happened, but they ran several tests on you and said you were having pain and bleeding, but they said the baby appears to be fine, Dana."

Scully felt tears in her eyes at the use of her first name and looked away as her face crumpled up. Mulder knew there was something she was holding back. "What is it, Scully? Tell me what it is."

"Mulder, I never told you, because I knew you would blame yourself."

"Tell me what, Scully?"

"This happened before. I…almost lost William…when Agent Doggett and I were searching for you. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I was having a miscarriage. I was so afraid…I had already lost you. I couldn't lose him too."

Mulder couldn't meet her gaze and she knew he was blaming himself as she thought he would.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was a high risk pregnancy…I was fully aware of the possible complications…yet I insisted on being on active duty. This pregnancy scares me even more Mulder. I'm 43 years old…what if something is wrong? I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with this when I found out, but I already love her so much."

He sighed and placed his hand gently on her stomach. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to blame yourself," she whispered. "You had already gone through so much."

"I can handle the truth, Scully," he sighed, looking for a way to soften his words.

"They told me you were going to be okay…that the baby would be fine if you take some time. But does this have something to do with the partial abruption you had before?"

She nodded sadly. "The abruption is caused by a high blood pressure disorder in pregnant women called preeclampsia. It can cause partial abruption, which is a tear in the uterine wall. But if it's a full abruption, the baby wouldn't make it…" he could hear her voice break a little.

He moved closer and reached out to wipe the stray tears from her face. "I promise you…it's going to be okay, Scully. I will do everything in my power to make sure you both are okay."

Scully looked down and gently clutched her stomach. She wanted to believe so much that he was right. Things were different this time, she could deal with this.

They were startled by a knock on the door and female doctor around her age entered the room. "Dr. Scully, I'm Dr. Henderson. I understand the baby was having some trouble earlier, which was caused by preeclampsia, which I'm sure you already know is a disease that affects pregnant women."

Scully nodded slowly as she waited for her to say more.

"The disease is manageable if you follow specific orders and instructions, but there can be complications, especially in older expectant mothers."

"Please tell me my baby is going to be okay."

The doctor nodded slowly as Scully exchanged a look with Mulder.

"Your baby…she's fine. We were concerned about the bleeding and contractions, but we were able to stop the contractions and light bleeding during pregnancy is normal."

"She?" Scully whispered as she looked over at Mulder who was now smiling at her. It was obvious he had heard the news.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize you didn't know, but yes, you're having a girl."

Scully laughed in relief, despite tears in her eyes. "Oh god, I can't believe it."

"Well, some of my colleagues were starting to take bets," Mulder chuckled.

The doctor smiled. "Well, I'll give you two a few minutes and then we can do the sonogram. We're going to keep you overnight just as a precaution, but you should be clear to go home in the morning…but with explicit Dr's instructions. You're not entirely in the clear yet."

Once the doctor left the room, she looked over at Mulder. "I'm only 5 months along…I don't want to have to go on maternity leave just yet. I have another 4 months…and unlike you, I'd go crazy doing nothing at home."

"Oh, there was always something to do, Scully," he smirked. "But regardless, we're going to do whatever it is to make sure you get through this pregnancy."

She reached out and cupped his face with her free hand and smiled. "I love you so much, Mulder. I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner. I was so afraid you would run off into the darkness and I'd lose you again and I just can't deal with that."

He kissed the side of her face gently. "Well, sorry to disappoint you Ms. Spooky, but you're stuck with me for the long run. You are the most important thing to me right now. You and this baby."

He gently placed his hand on her abdomen as if it would break by his touch. She smiled as they felt the faint movement below their hands. Scully closed her eyes and in that moment, she felt so blessed to have a chance to be a mother again, with Mulder at her side.

To be continued. Please R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks had passed and Scully nearly six months pregnant. She had cut back to working part time, though she wasn't overly fond of being away from work since she enjoyed seeing Christian's health progress. Despite her doubts, the surgery had went quite well, so maybe Father Joe was right in telling her not to give up. Maybe he meant it in more ways than one.

She had to admit, she felt a little embarrassed being back at work with so many of her colleagues witnessing what happened a few weeks back. Especially since they constantly asked how she was feeling. At least she knew she was in good hands and that was reassuring.

When her shift ended, she had to pick up some medication and prenatal supplements her doctor had prescribed. She worried about her baby all the time and found herself with many of the same concerns she had when William was born. Was there something special about this baby too? Would anyone try to hurt her? She pressed her palm against taut skin of her abdomen, not realizing she was in such deep thought until she heard someone mention her name. "Dana?"

She closed her eyes to clear her thoughts and looked over. "Hmm?" Her eyes went wide when her gaze fell on a familiar face. Despite the years that had gone by, she'd recognize that face anywhere. "Monica?"

Age had done Monica considerably well. Her hairline may have receded slightly in the past 6 or 7 years, her hair was loner and she was wearing glasses, but she could never mistake that face. She realized she was silent for a moment before her friend hugged her. "Oh my god, I never thought I would see you again, Dana. John and I always feared the worst until we recently heard from Skinner that Mulder was exonerated," Monica looked down. "You're blonde…and apparently having a baby."

Scully managed a small laugh. She really did miss Monica and John so much. She and Mulder had really confided in them in their remaining time at the FBI. "Yeah, I am."

Monica smiled knowingly. "You seem less than excited about it, Dana."

Scully couldn't help but smile. Monica was like Melissa in so many ways. The frank comments seemed to be at the top of the list.

"Well, uh, it wasn't easy when I first found out with everything that uh, you know, happened to William, but uh, maybe this is our chance for a fresh start."

Monica smiled. "Of course. John and I have a 5 year old little girl, Olivia." She reached into her purse and pulled a wallet sized photo out and handed it to Scully.

Scully smiled at the photo. The little girl was a splitting image of Monica, but she had John's eyes which was unusual for a recessive gene. "It wasn't easy for John, either…you know, after Luke and everything…but maybe it's time for a fresh start, for all of us."

Scully really missed these talked and wished she had Monica around in these last several years to confide in. She really needed to hear those words. "Thank you."

"So, do you know what you are having?"

Scully lovingly placed her hand on her abdomen. "A girl."

Monica smiled. "Well, please don't be a stranger and have me over for your baby shower. I also have a lot of things Olivia grew out of I can give you."

"I would appreciate that, thank you. What brings you here though, Monica? D.C. is a good hour and a half away."

Scully watched as she grabbed a few over the counter medications and put them in her basket. "Well, actually, Skinner told us where you were, but we were actually thinking of moving a little further away and buying a house. I'm headed back to the airport tonight, but I was hoping we could re-connect."

Scully smiled. "I would like that. You and Agent Doggett…you're still with the FBI?"

"Yes, but not the X-Files…it has been closed since, you know."

Scully nodded. "What happened…after we left I mean?"

"John and I were in hiding for a while too. Because along with Kersh, we were all accused of assisting in a prisoner's escape. Like both of you, we were eventually exonerated by the FBI when they needed help with a case."

Scully felt a little relieved that her close friends could relate to what they had been through.

Monica smiled. "Well, I need to return my rental car at the airport, so we'll have to catch up later."

She hugged her friend tightly. She pulled out a card with her new phone number and address and handed it to Scully. "Just call me if you need anything, Dana."

Scully smiled and told her the hospital she now worked at as a physician. "You can find me there before I go on maternity leave."

"Well, I hope to see you much before that."

Scully watched as her old friend checked out and left the store. She had a feeling the darkness was never going to escape them. But maybe it might be a little more bearable if it meant she could see her friends and family again.

Several days later

After Scully was finished with an important outpatient procedure, she was ready to give her feet a rest and go to lunch. Her condition only exasperated typical pregnancy symptoms. She was putting some stuff away when she was startled by footsteps. "What's up, Doc?"

Scully sighed as she saw Mulder's familiar frame approach her. "Mulder, you scared me. How did you get back here anyways?"

He smiled as he looked over at the nurse right behind him. "Friends in high places."

"Sorry, Dr. Scully, your husband was really insistent."

Scully sighed and stopped bothering to correct people a long time ago. She only corrected Father Joe, but she was in a place where she was unsure where things stood between them. "It's okay, thank you Alison."

Once the nurse smiled and retreated, leaving them both alone, Scully eased herself onto the bench next to Mulder. She had a weird sense of de ja vu as she recalled sitting in this spot when she told Mulder that she was done following him into the darkness.

She looked over at him and managed a soft smile. She placed her hand over his and waited for him to say whatever it was.

"What are you doing here, Mulder?"

"What, a guy can't just see how the mother of his child is doing?"

Scully smiled at that statement. If she had any doubts over how Mulder was dealing with impending fatherhood, they were gone.

"Of course you can, but I have a feeling that isn't why you're here."

He sighed. "The FBI wants my help on a case Agent Doggett and Reyes are working on."

Scully's heart sank. She expected Mulder would never stop his search for the truth, but part of her was hopeful. She clasped her hands together and looked down. This definitely was de ja vu. She remembered their conversation on this bench before when he wanted to help with the Father Joe case.

Sensing Scully's reluctance, he gently placed his hand on her thigh. "Scully…if you don't want me to go, I understand. It would only be for a couple days, but if you don't want me to go, I am fine with that."

Scully paused for a minute before meeting his gaze. "It's okay, Mulder. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. You go and do what you need to, okay?" She smiled and tried to be as convincing as she could. She was trying her best to hide her worries. When she met with Monica, she had a feeling this would probably happen once she told Mulder she was in touch with them.

"Are you sure? How about the baby?" Without waiting for a response, he reached across her arm and gently placed his hand on her belly, the evidence now taut against the fabric of her scrubs. She watched his hand for a moment as he lovingly caressed her abdomen, making it clear how much he already loved his unborn daughter. She placed her hands over his. "We'll be fine. I promise."

A moment later, he was up and gently leaned in to kiss her. "Don't worry, Scully. I will be safe. Just call me for any reason and I will be on the first flight home, okay?"

"I know," she whispered. "I also have Skinner on speed dial," she warned.

"Yes, skin man would definitely send me home if I'm a bad boy. I love you," he whispered.

"I know, I love you too."

As she watched him walk away, she felt a sense of dread wash over her. Something wasn't right.

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

It had only been a few days since Mulder had left and Scully had already grown worried about him. She wanted so much for them to be a family and live a normal life. She didn't want to fear for her baby, because the darkness seemed to always be following them. She was 43 years old and this would without a doubt be her last child…her last chance at having a family.

She cupped her belly as if to reassure herself the baby was still there. She didn't have nearly as defined a bulge this pregnancy, but she had filled out more all over and it was evident she still carried most of her weight in the middle. Maybe it was because she was sure to take the time to eat three meals a day and was gaining a healthy amount of weight unlike before.

The last few days though, she felt unusually tired and fatigued and finishing up a workday was becoming a strain. She sighed as she closed her eyes before making her way to the surgical unit. As she was prepping for a surgery, she was stopped by one of her colleagues. "Dr. Scully?"

"What is it?" she asked, fully expecting to begin her work.

"You're bleeding."

As she was about to ask what the nurse was talking about, she felt a warm liquid above her upper lip. At that moment, her blood ran cold and her throat felt tight as if walls were suddenly closing in on her.  
"Oh my god."

She muttered something about postponing the surgery and bolted from the room. She could hear her colleagues calling after her. "Dr. Scully, is everything okay? What's going on?"

She ran to the bathroom despite the added girth around her midsection. She forced herself to look in the mirror to confirm what she indeed saw. She was having a nosebleed. "It can't be true…I didn't take it out…I didn't take the chip out of my neck," she whispered frantically.

She threw off the latex gloves and crumpled to the floor. "Oh god, please…not now…I can't lose my baby."

Scully had to post pone all of her appointments she had for the rest of the day in order to meet with her doctor. Thankfully, it was still early in the day and her doctor was willing to take her in right away due to her history and symptoms. Hours of testing and MRI's later, unfortunately, it was as she expected, her cancer was back. She had to fight back tears when asking if her baby would be okay. Treatment was obviously out of the question for three months until she had her baby…which means more time for the cancer to progress and more complicated to treat.

"You could have a cesarean section at 7 months. As a doctor, I'm sure you already know that the baby would be just matured enough to live outside your womb. You could treat the cancer faster, which usually yields more favorable results as you know."

Scully shook her head. It was bad enough she had to risk having an MRI for the sake of knowing if the cancer was back. "No, I…I don't want any more risks or to take any more chances at the risk of something happening or being wrong with my baby."

The other doctor nodded understandingly as Scully cupped her belly. The other hand holding the cerebral scan that showed the tumor in her upper nasal cavity. "Well, we'd like to keep you for observation while we do more testing. You're iron levels are very low and you're dehydrated. It's amazing you weren't experiencing and symptoms sooner. I'm glad you came in when you did before there was any….complications."

Scully nodded and knew full well what the other doctor meant by "complications". She was so close to losing her baby and the thought terrified her to know she could have or still could lose the baby she had grown so attached to in the past few months. She would never be able to have another baby and she wanted so desperately to have this baby with Mulder more than words could say.

As she was getting admitted for the hospital stay, she insisted the doctor not call Mulder. She wasn't ready to give him the news…not yet. She didn't want him to worry about her or think she was incapable of being without him. More than anything, she was terribly distraught over the thought that she would not see her baby's first steps or first words, or graduations. Every time the nurse left her alone, she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Why is this happening? Why me? I want so much just to have this baby and raise it with Mulder." She knew he would make a great father. There was no one else she trusted more to love and protect their baby. But she wanted them to be a family…and more than anything she wanted her baby to have her mother.

Once she was settled in a hospital bed and IVs were attached, she did call her mother. She hadn't seen nor spoken to her mother in several years…she knew her mother was beside herself with the loss of her grandson. She didn't even know about the baby she was carrying. But she needed her more than ever now. She needed her to know how much she truly loved William and wanted what was best for him.

She also made another call. This time, to Skinner. She didn't want Mulder to know how much she was worrying about him, so she did the next best thing.

She sighed once she heard her old boss answer the phone. "Skinner…Dana, is that you?"

"Yeah," she fought the futile attempt to keep tears from her voice.

"Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Yes, the baby is fine," she managed. "Is Mulder okay?"

"Yes," he said gently. "I've been seeing to that." She knew how Skinner was protective over her since Mulder's abduction. He was the only one she could trust 100% in his absence. He made sure she didn't lose her sanity…or her baby. She owed so much to him for that.

"Scully?" he asked after a minute of silence.

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"I…uh. I'm not sure how to say this, sir. But Mulder can't know."

"Can't know what, Dana? You're scaring me here."

"The…the cancer is back…" she blurted out in a sob.

Skinner felt as if he'd been shot….as he had many times before. "Um, what?"

"I'm dying."

"Oh god…Dana. Oh my god."

Scully placed her head in her free hand as she allowed the terrible reality to finally sink in. "You have to tell him, Dana. I'll send him back on the first available flight."

"I can't."

"Why? He needs to know, Dana."

"I can't do that to him…not yet."

"I will be there as soon as I can, okay? Do you have someone who is with you?"

"My mom is coming in the morning."

"Okay, please take it easy and I will see what I can do to bring Mulder home sooner."

"Thank you."

Once Scully heard the click of the other line, she rolled onto her side, wrapping one arm around her baby, praying to whatever God out there to save her and her baby and that this was just some god awful nightmare.

Too be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

“Scully?” A familiar worried voice called out to her. “I’m here, please wake up.”

Scully’s eyes fluttered and she recognized the familiar lighting of Our Lady of Sorrows.  She turned in the direction of the voice. She sighed with relief at the sight of Mulder, but then she had remembered the cancer with a sickening dread.

“Mulder, the cancer…I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you,” she started tearfully.

A look of confusion settled over his face as he took his her hand in his own and held it tightly. “Cancer, Scully…Honey, what are you talking about? You had a seizure.”

Now it was Scully’s turn to look confused. “But…the nosebleed and Skinner…I told Skinner while you were gone.”

Mulder shook his head. “I came back when I found out you had collapsed, but I’m back and I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here with you until the baby is born,” he leaned over while keeping her hand in his and lightly kissed her temple.

It was at that moment that a knock sounded at the door and a Doctor Blevins had entered. Scully had seen him in passing, but did not know him well as there was continuous turnover at the hospital.

“Doctor Scully, I’m glad to see you’re awake,” he watched as the couple turned towards him. It was then that Scully noticed the fetal monitor on her stomach and the wiring on her arm.  She pulled back from Mulder’s grasp as she moved to sit up.

“Is the baby okay?”

He nodded. “Yes, you had a seizure, however and this is the second time you’ve been admitted. I’m going to urge you to start your maternity leave early.”

“The cancer…”she started and was met with a confused look.

“I don’t see anything here or nor did I see anything on your medical records about cancer. You’re perfectly healthy otherwise. We’re just going to need to keep you here a little longer as a precaution.”

Was it really a dream?

Scully nodded, closing her eyes.

“I’ll be back in a little while to check on you,” he said before leaving the room.

Scully sighed, moving her hands to her belly. “Oh God, Mulder…I thought the cancer was back.”

Mulder placed his left hand over hers on her belly. “You know that would only happen if the chip were to be removed again.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry, I know you were helping Skinner.”

Mulder shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize. Actually I think that’s it for me, I’m done. I want to focus on you and the baby now.”

“Mulder…”

“I’m serious, I’ve been thinking about it for a little while actually. I can search for William another way that doesn’t involve chasing monsters. I want to be there for everything. I don’t need the X-Files, I need you and I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”

Scully smiled through tears as he grasped her hand. “We’ll find him, I know we will.”

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know super late update, I hope you enjoyed the story. :) I'm working on so many stories right now, but I'm trying to wrap up some fics on hiatus rather than never returning to them.


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